Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
