I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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