thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
