Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
