he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
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My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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