We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
