VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
