Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We need to get me chipped asap
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
