Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
