what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
