just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
50% drunk capacity currently
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
