dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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