Can i not drive my cunt home
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize