Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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