My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
