oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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