My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
