my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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