I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize