I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize