I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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