i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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