So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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