is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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