My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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