You smell like stripper and shame
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she told me i tasted like america
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
