Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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