oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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