i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I don't deserve a penis
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I would ride that face into the sunset
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
