just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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