Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
