I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
