Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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