After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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