bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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