hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
