Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
