Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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