He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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