the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
two words: eviction party
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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