i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
