Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
