im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
