he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
