Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
