So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize