I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
and she was petting her beer can
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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