So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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