Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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