Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Why don't you ever send me any naked pics

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(312): View more from Illinois

You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."

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(815): View more from Illinois

i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.

(1-815): View more from Illinois

you need to get laid.. and an oil change.

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(661): View more from California

I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.

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(734): View more from Michigan

i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.

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(585): View more from New York

Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

Fav 6 1049 1951
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.

Fav 4 877 515
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(406): View more from Montana

All I want is dick and wine.

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